couch to 5k - week 1 in review

(Run 2 vs Run 3!)

One of my new year resolutions was to take up running. I had a friend at uni who was really into running, and I always sort of envied her. I love walking and being outside, and I really just wanted to be able to go for a run somedays, if I felt like it. I've lost six stone, and improved my fitness in the gym, so I wanted to try my hand outdoors...

I wasn't expecting it to be as hard as it was - it seems to use completely different muscles to running inside, and it's harder to breathe, and I feel like I'm 6 stone heavier again..! I'm documenting this here, because hopefully one day I'll be able to run 5k, and I'll have this as a record. Some other people may be on the fence about starting running, like I was, or overweight and wondering if they can do it.. well maybe this will give you some inspiration!

RUN 1: 11/5/2015, 1pm on a Sunday afternoon, windy and overcast. 

I think I only ran for about 4.5 minutes in total, and I found that pretty tough. Slightly hungover today. Fast-paced walked where I couldn't run. That afternoon my shoulders ached and the back of my thighs/bum. Next day, my thighs still ache and my hips and knees a bit.

RUN 2: 16/01/2015, 12.30pm on Friday lunchtime, cool, but bright and sunny.
I managed better this time around, running for 6.5 minutes in total, out of 8. I fast-paced walked where I couldn't walk, but with the sun I felt warmer so I don't know if I was as fast as on Sunday (when it was freezing and trying to keep warm!). I'd been to the gym early in the morning and my legs were a bit achey, made sure to do lots of stretches when I got back because  after the last run I seized up! Aiming to do my next run on Sunday or Monday, weather depending. Later that day, I am much less stiff.

RUN 3: 18/01/2015, 10am on Sunday, cold, drizzle, windy, miserable.
I bought myself some new gear this weekend, and it makes me feel so fly. Running tights and a jacket, it seemed to help as I was faffing less with my clothes. A lot of dogs out, some not being controlled by the owner, which pissed me off so I managed a good 7 minutes of running on that anger (maybe a bit longer, I tried a new app and couldn't hear it very well, I only walked 1 interval, though). I looked up lots of hamstring stretches and did those post-run and I feel much better, only my left hamstring is tight now, but I have some muscular pain in my hip. 

Thoughts at the end of the week:
I think I'm going to repeat maybe another couple of Week 1 runs, to make sure I can run the 8 minutes, before moving on to the Week 2, as I don't want to, excuse the pun, run before I can walk! My homework for the week is to look up some more stretches and try and improve my flexibility. Going to look at investing in some better shoes as I had soaked feet by the time I got home on Sunday.

Weight loss?
Just under 2lbs! 

I'm not sure how long I'll keep up the couch to 5k plan, I'll be honest, but I am going to give it my best shot! I feel like my body wasn't meant to run, but maybe that will improve. It was one of my goals for this year, to at least give it a go, and I've started! I reckon I won't be able to do all the runs in one week, so I'm a bit iffy about that, but I'm gonna try and stick to it as closely as possible.

If anyone else is trying this plan, please let me know, I'd love someone to talk about this crap with - particularly if you're a complete beginner like me! I also want to post a picture every time I run on Instagram, so follow me there, too!

new year, new me? insert eye-roll here

Lets get it out of the way: Happy New Year! Hello, 2015! Are you still feeling fragile or are you well and truly recovered? Already tired of those "new year, new me" updates all over Facebook? Well, here is mine..  

Just kidding, I don't think that I'm going to be an entirely new person in 2015. In fact, I always kind of thought resolutions were for losers. Not in a mean way, exactly... Just that maybe they existed for those people that lacked conviction: like, why do you need it to be the 1st of January to make a difference in your life? Well, you don't, but I found last year that it helps to kick you up the bum. I made a resolution in 2014 to lose weight, and I lost about 6 stone. So, I've reevaluated my feelings on resolutions. Maybe they're not a bunch of crap, and maybe these people were onto something all those years, after all. 

1. Lose 50lbs. This sounds a lot, but I lost eighty-five pounds (well, eighty if we're not including the five I lost, then gained throughout December, which we're definitely not, because winter weight, am I right..?!) in 2013. Another fifty would put me somewhere I'm comfortable with, and then I can re-evaluate. 
2. Start running. This is something I've been considering the last few months, but always thought seemed like something I couldn't do. Fat girls, etc. I've realised though that that the only thing that's really stopping me there is my confidence. Do I care if people laugh at me for trying to get fit? No, I don't, so that shouldn't be the thing that holds me back. 
3. Get a bra fitted properly. This goes in conjunction with running, but I've lost a lot of weight around my middle and from my boobs, and as such, I have no clue what size I am anymore. None of my bras fit me properly anymore, and I want to be correctly supported when running. 
4. Move out. Who am I kidding, maybe just get a new job? Hahaha...Again, who am I kidding.. Maybe just, save some more money for when I DO move out? 
5. Read more. I have so many books on my shelf half-finished, half-started, half-abandoned... I want to make peace with them all, haha. If I enjoy them, finish them, if I don't, fully give up on them, don't leave them in a half-read limbo.
6. Apply for an allotment. I really miss the time and effort spent at the old allotment, and I want to apply for some new ones. It takes years to get one round here, but you never know... 
7. Consume less, buy less, leave less impact on the world, live more minimally. I say this every year, but I buy way too much stuff. I just want to own less, take up less space in the world, and leave less impact, so I'm really going to strive to make a difference with this, this year. 
8. Make more things, and make presents for people, too. On a similar theme as consuming less, I want to make more stuff and buy less. I want to knit more and make presents for people too, because I love receiving hand-made presents, and I have skills and talents that can be made into presents, so I really should just do it. 
9. Keep on with my blog, and keep up to date with the blogging world. Whilst I don't think I exactly let my blog slide when I started full-time work, it definitely shifted in priority for a couple of weeks, and I gained much more admiration for bloggers who also work hectic jobs. It's taken me 4 months (well probably longer) to actually catch up on my Bloglovin' feed, and I don't want it to get like that again!  
10. Become a pro photographer. Well, not a pro, but I want to become really au fait with my new camera. I want to know how to take the perfect photo on manual and all that jazz, because I'll be honest, I'm not great.
11. Love myself. This one sounds weird, I know, like a weird euphemism for something, or a hippyish phrase from Eat Pray Love, and I'm sorry on both accounts, but it needs to be said. I've made a lot of progress this year towards liking myself, lumps and bumps and scars and emotional baggage and all, and I want to keep learning to be comfortable with who I am.

It's a long list, some are kind of silly and throw-away things, but I've meaning to do for ages (allotment, bra), some are steps on my weight loss journey (running, lose 50lbs), some are about me trying to be a better person in the world, and some are just self-centred pursuits to a healthier mental place (but that is good!), but all are important.

What are your goals and resolutions for the coming year? If you want support, or just like to chat about stuff, I'm always here and willing to moan about weight-loss plateau's or failing to understand correctly what SEO's are..! 

my 2014 via the medium of instagram

Apparently I became something of an Instagram addict this year (particularly the second half of the year, I discovered in making this post!), and I so rarely do monthly-instagram posts, I thought it might be a fun thing to do whilst I'm curled up on the sofa this New Years Eve, suffering from a particular evil bout of flu..

January was cold, and the start of my weight-loss journey, but was also spent in Edinburgh and Scotland, which was very exciting. February mean trips to London, for coffee, nutella brownies and art with my friend Tam. It also meant trips to Unravel for brightly coloured yarn. March was unseasonably warm, with strawberries and cream ate outside, sock knitting whilst watching The Good Wife, and celebrating Mothers Day. Apparently I did nothing in April but knit, but May was spent on a very sunny outing to the Southbank to see an old friend before she emigrated, more knitting and time spent outdoors. I also squeezed in a rainy trip to London before the beginning of June. June was more knitting, unexpected trips to A&E, exploring the Peak District and savouring every second at the allotment. I also sewed my first shirt, and enjoyed my first home-grown strawberries and cherries.

July involved more time spent at the allotment, and basically as much time outside as possible, at the nature reserve and the airfield, and speeding time in the garden, too. It was also the summer of iced coffee, homemade lemonade and some new glasses. In August I celebrated a milestone of losing 4st by admiring how my face had changed, making some tasty little chocolate protein bites, and saying a very sad goodbye to the allotment. It was also the month I learnt to make lemon curd, jam and chutney properly, and treated myself to some proper trainers, which was very exciting. I also went on walks to Savernake forest with my dad, ate at Le Comptoir Libonais with my mum, and made an almond cake for a friends birthday. In September I made an amazing blackberry yoghurt cake, and had a dessert-night in with friends - it was also the month that things turned colder, I was lucky enough to visit the Berkshire country fair and I made more lemon curd and jams than I care to count. Some fun nights in London meant early starts, and I spoilt myself by making amazing soups and wonderful cinnamon buns.

In October I stared full-time work, so my last few days before that were spent revelling in how nice autumn is in these parts, before bracing myself for some chilly morning starts and lots of coffee. I also treated myself to a new phone case, started a new book and bought a beautiful candle. October is the month of the Knit and Stitch at Ally Pally, so I took a lot of photos of the amazing view from the hill. I also treated myself to some new red lipstick, wore my mums ridiculously embellished bra for Breast Cancer Awareness, ate lots of homemade porridge and rice pudding.  I was also apparently pretty vain in October, but that's okay, right? Haha. I also spent time down in the New Forest for my mums birthday, and dipped my feet in the ocean. There was also time for more porridge, new handbags, shoes, candles and winter clothing before the month was out.

November was full of trips to the zoo, lots of coffee, alcohol, and long, sad car journeys up north. To compensate for hours spent inside a car, I dragged myself on amazing autumn walks and went out for burgers with friends. I also had some cosy nights in, ate pancakes, dressed in turtle-necks and trench-coats, and had a final, sad trip up north. Back home, things felt more wintry, finally, with soup and winter skies settling in. My December was full of heavy frost, eating clementines, and making croissants. I also put up the Christmas tree with my favourite baubles, and treated myself to some wine and chocolate whilst doing so. Christmas was truly upon us when I busted out the fairy-lights, sloe-gin and mince-pies, and the giant lopi sweater. I spent some time outside, enjoyed a beautiful sunset, and made some more croissants, too. I also received some beautiful presents, ate croissants on Christmas morning, settled in with a good book, and then got ill!

I hope you're all having a wonderful, safe NYE, and I wish you good things for 2015! 

all about that glitter: lips, nails and eye make up for new years eve!

Like Meghan Trainor and her penchant for bass and booty, at Christmas and New Year I am all about that glitter. I've recently been trying to mix up my makeup and try and get away from the eyeliner-flicks that have become my uniform, and what better time than December and January, when the festivities make it acceptable to wear glitter all day, every day. Plus, introducing flashes of glitter into your everyday makeup can help January not seem so long, dark and cold.
Read on for my favourite picks of nails, eyes, lips and some face staples to suit you for any situation at New Year..

E Y E S

My favourite thing is a glittery eye - whether thats mixed into a smokey eyeshadow, smudged along the waterline, or a wash of glitter along the lid with a sweep of liner. I particularly love creamy bases, my go-to's are the Illamasqua liquid metals - I have them in Superior (the blue), Surge (the gunmetal silver), and Solstice (the gold). They're great swept all over the lid or used as a base. I'm also a giant fan of the Chanel Illusion D'Ombre in Mirifique (black) and Epatant (silver). These look like an eyeliner or a cream base in the pot, but dry to a powdery consistency on the eye, which I'm a big fan off, as they are quick and easy to smudge into a smoky eye. I particularly love to use the silver Epatant with Urban Decay Zodiac - an amazing glittery green eyeshadow - all over the lid, with MAC Carbon (what should be a staple in everyones makeup bag, a true matte black) smudged along the lash line.

I also recently picked up this wonderful, matte grey Bobbi Brown Shadow Stick in Shadow which I've been using with my own little quad. It consists of MAC Copperplate (a cool-toned matte grey), Beauty Marked (an amazing glittery purple-black), Smoke and Diamonds (a beautifully soft, rich and pigmented shimmery grey) and a Grand Entrance (soft, shimmery champagne silver-pink): altogether they create a really beautiful smokey eye, particularly when paired with my new favourite eyeliner, the Bourjois Liner Clubbing and lashings of my favourite waterproof mascara, 17's Va Va Voom in Black.

N A I L S

Nails are one of those things you can definitely go all out with, I always think. If you're not that comfortable chucking glitter all over your eyelids, or worry over a red-lip, stick to eyeliner and paint giant chunky gold holographic glitter all over your fingertips. That particular culprit in question is OPI When Monkey's Fly, it's got amazing bits of gold foil and holographic glitter in, and looks great when layered over any dark polish. I'm really into dark greens at the moment, like Barry M Racing Green, and Essie's Styleonomics will forever be a favourite, with it's dark and gothy green-black. I received the green and white glitter Urban Outfitters polish in Snow Globe from a friend for Christmas and it looks particularly awesome over the Barry M green. You can never go wrong with a silver or gold at this time of year, but I find silvers suit my skin-tone better, so I'm more likely to reach for Leighton Denny Diamond Diva, with either an amazing H&M holographic glitter polish called Jo Is In The House layered over, or Essie's Hors D'ouevers (a sort of shimmery silver gold champagne colour) on top. And even though Christmas is done and dusted by December 31st, a dark or glittery red is a classic in my book, and my two favourites are China Glaze Ruby Pumps and the vampy dark red that is Essie's Wicked.

L I P S

This is where the glitter theme sort of falls apart, because please don't wear glittery lipstick, I beg of you. As you can tell, I'm not being that adventurous with my lipstick this year, and thats because I'm shunning all the dark vampy lipsticks in favour of nudes and pinks, and it's weird for me but I'm going with it. I'm adding my favourite reds in here though, just because.
On the red spectrum, my all time, absolute holy-grail of dark red lipstick is NARS Fire Down Below (bottom of picture). I actually hunted for years for this, and it's the best true dark red I've found, not a berry or pink hue in sight, but has enough brown and blue in to make your teeth whiter, and not make you look like you're from the 80's. Honourable mentions go to Illamasuqa's Encounter, a good all-rounder red, but if you want a more sheer lipstick, you could try something like the YSL Volupte Sheer Candy in #7, which can be layered to that darker red, but goes on sheer.

However, I'm big into the pinky-nudes (I blame a Kardashian sister, though I'm not sure which one) and these are all my current go-to lipsticks from MAC. From the top down (to the left of the gold YSL colour) is MAC Blankety, a new favourite and is a bit paler than my lips, which  I love. In the middle is an oldie but a goodie in Plink!, and at the bottom, my true my lips but better lipstick, MAC Hug Me. I've been using them with the GOSH lip-liner Nougat Crisp to make it last as long as possible. I've just realised that maybe this is was being an adult is like, and not doing an neon pink lip on a daily basis...

F A C E

When you've got a lot going on on your nails, lips, eyes, etc, I think it's always best to tone down the contouring for a day. That doesn't mean not making the most of what you've got though. I love Yves Saint Laurent's Le Teint Touche Eclat foundation - I wear it in BR10 because it's got a great, buildable coverage and still remains dewy and fresh faced, so you can use it accordingly where needed. When paired with it's sister translucent powder, YSL's Souffle D'Eclat, and then a little bit of NARS Albatross highlighter swept over cheekbones, it gives the dewy illusion with good staying power. I've also been really enjoying eyeshadow of late - a change from my usual eyeliner - so a good shadow primer is needed, and I've been enjoying the Rimmel Exaggerate. It's not god's gift to beauty, and there are much better shadow primers out there, but for it's price-point (£4.99) and if you're in a pinch and need it, it's pretty good. Also make sure to prep your lips before even going NEAR that red lipstick - I was given this amazing blueberry EOS lip-balm by a friend and I've been carrying it with me ever since. The egg shape still feels a little weird to rub on your mouth, but I'm getting used to it!

What will you be opting for on New Year's Eve? I mean, despite liver-damaging amounts of alcohol..!

fresh starts

I spent my New Year on the toilet. Genuinely, I went for a pee not knowing the time and then heard all the fireworks whilst I was there. I think that perfectly sums up how I feel about 'New Year's Eve' in general, a pile of piss. I just don't care about it anymore, and my grand-old-age of 23, and have resolved to never do anything special because it is simply another year, and another night and do nothing special. However, I want to use the opportunity of a new year to try and make some changes in my life - I know I am a few days late, but I thought I would update you all on my 'resolutions'. 

I wrote this big long post about how I want to change all these things about me, but I know that realistically they won't happen. Basically, I want to work on myself, essentially, however cheesy that sounds. Hoping that if I sort out these aspects of my life, I will lead to a happier, healthier person.

Essentially, I want to swear less, read more, think nicer things, be more generous, buy less stuff, own less stuff. be better to the environment, be healthier, shop more ethically, knit more, be happier. I want to work on being more well-rounded, but we shall see how it goes. 

here's to 2014

2013, I have recounted to my friends many times, has been the shittest year I have had in a long time. It started badly and continued on a sour note for most of the year. Don't get me wrong, I have had some nice days out to castles and continental cities and although I didn't jet off anywhere fancy this summer, I had the most nostalgic English summer to a town that I used to visit every year. But the inbetween times were filled with the most vile year that university could bring on me, living in a horrible place with some people who turned out to be not who I thought I was, and left me with a bad case of depression that landed me back in therapy and hospital in the early part of the year. Despite all those horrible things happening (and the general post-uni haze that descends about two months post-graduation when you realise you haven't found a job yet because your university prepared you so poorly!) I have realised I have a thicker skin that I thought, that I have an amazing group of friends that even when we haven't seen each other for a month because we all work retail and have hideous shift schedules that I can talk to all evening until it's dark outside because we have so much (and nothing) to say to each other.. That even when my oldest friend moves half-way across the country I will still see her, and that my family will be there for me. My mum has been the most amazing person this last year, and has always been there in a very quiet way, looking after me when things are all fucked up. So even though 2013 has been pretty dire, there have been some golden moments that remind me to keep trying, even when everything looks very black and bleak. Let's hope 2014 runs smoother...

twenty thirteen goals

 Goals for 2013;

Knit presents for the majority of my close friends for christmas (I already know i want to knit patterned mittens for two close friends, a scarf for another, and something for my mother).
Learn how to knit: intarsia, patterned mittens and entrelac. OR at least one of these!
Knit a superfine lace anything!

Graduate!
Get involved with a local print studio, after I graduate and before I move away to hone my skills within a working environment and really get a feel for what it is like in the world.

Enter as many print competitions and art prizes as I can - there are hundreds out there and I will have no excuse not to get involved.

See a little bit more of the world.

Follow my detested eighteen month plan

Move to edinburgh (I think realistically this will happen in 2014, so maybe we'll say flat hunt in Edinburgh!)

Drive to visit my grandmothers.

Keep making work and enjoying it.

I know i'm a bit late to this party, but I wanted to welcome in 2013 (be it like twenty days late). This year, I wanted to set myself more achievable goals. Normally they're a bit vague, like "be happy", keep doing fun stuff, etc. I thought I would set myself more realistic ones!
So we had to do this dire unit at uni that was dubiously titled "professional futures": we had to plan out our life for the eighteen months after we graduate. Where we want to live, work, study, how we will afford this, etc. How unbelievably hideous, right? Right. I understand their theory behind it - we need to start thinking about our future and can't keep burying our head in the sand any longer.. the only problem is the lectures and the tutor himself have the problem of being horrifically demotivating, not to mention being awfully unprofessional and essentially saying that if we dared to either move back home with our parents, get a job that isn't art related, or god forbid, become a teacher we are worthless, useless, stupid, and why the fuck did we go to artschool? Tangent. Sorry. Getting to the important bit. It made me look at my savings and start to think realistically about where I want to live. After looking at flats in Edinburgh, where I would like to live.. I have enough money to live for at least a year, without working.. As I assume I'll be able to find at LEAST a part-time job there - I'm beyond excited.

This made me feel so much better. It's like this giant weight has been lifted. Who gives a shit if I don't have a career planned out - I know I can afford to live in amazing city and actually LIVE. It's like I just want this year to end, but in a completely good, thrilling and fresh way.

That afternoon, after realising this, I was hit with this intense excitement for the future, one that I have never had before. It's so, so thrilling. Here's to an exciting 2013!!

Have you set yourself any goals, and how have you been sticking to them?