I wasn't ever going to blog about how the last post on here was about Christmas, or the fact I've felt like a little shell of myself, the last few months but I've realised I don't care to post content that everyone else wants to see...
It's funny how winter affects me so much; after the rush towards Christmas, I feel like I just slip further into a hole that is hard to climb back out of. It's not every year it happens, but when it does it catches me so by surprise it knocks the wind out of me - in January I kept thinking I was fighting it off, that I was getting to the gym and being sociable and doing all those things I was taught to do to keep me going, before realising I was finding no joy in them and I ground to a halt.
It's not until the first warm day of spring that I start to feel like me again. Only when the sunlight begins to feel warm again, and I roll my window down on the drive home from work, and I sit outside in my garden on the weekends to eat my lunch and it's okay, cause everything starts to feel okay again. Today felt okay, for the first time in a while. I woke up this morning after a lovely evening with a new friend, I have some things to look forward to, I feel like I'm more solid in my skin and things feel good. This afternoon I sat and watched the blue tits in the garden, did some knitting and drank my coffee with full fat milk, to feel indulgent.
So I guess I'll just sit tight until summer...
