from my sick-bed

Well, it's not quite my sick-bed. It's my regular bed, and I'm feeling very sorry for myself, and fancied a bit of a chat with you all.

I went into hospital this Thursday just gone, to have my gallbladder removed. I wasn't that worried about the procedure, until I started thinking about the anaesthetic. I've never had a general one before, and I was worried about all sorts of things, like waking up in the middle of the operation, or not waking up afterwards, or of being sick from it. Anyway, there was a whole host of things running through my mind as I sat in the waiting room, politely smiling as a woman told me about her 'waterworks' problems.

Turns out I was sat in the wrong waiting room (I was told to sit there, mind you) and had to be rushed into theatre last minute. This caused a bit of a flap, you see, as I wasn't mentally prepared, no-one had told me anything, or what was going on. A few shouted words at nurses later (they started it, trust me!) and I'm being whipped off to theatre on a bed by a lovely porter, who did his best to keep me calm. A few mumbled words through an oxygen mask later, and I'm being woken up in the recovery room in an intense amount of pain. I was watching some videos yesterday about where they remove the gallbladder from, and all of them are really ramming the tubes in and out of the individuals stomachs - no wonder I feel like I've been punched in the gut repeatedly! No-one tells you how much a laparoscopic procedure will hurt! A minor operation, pfft. 

Maybe it's minor compared to heart surgery, but considering until then, the most invasive thing I've had done at the hospital was an endoscopy (which was traumatic in itself!), it's quite major. I think to doctors and nurses who see this day in, day out, they become very blase about the whole thing, and they don't understand why people get so panicked. I'd never say I have anxiety, because I've never been diagnosed, but I've suffered some similar mental health problems in the past, and have suffered from panic attacks for a long time - so I know when I'm approaching that state, beyond the usual nervous worries. I think more doctors and nurses need to be aware that for some people, it goes beyond just being a bit nervous, which I get is totally normal.

Anyway, now I've been signed off for two weeks, and I was hoping to go back to work sooner than this, but as I can barely keep awake for most of the day and can't walk more than a few paces without being overwhelmed from the pain... this doesn't seem likely.

So have you got any recommendations of what I watch, read or do whilst I'm confined to my room? I have a stack of books I want to read, some knitting to finish, and Orange is the New Black to get on with, so hopefully these will keep me occupied for a little while?!

Or, if you fancy a chat or a gossip - get in contact with me on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, or follow on Bloglovin', I need people to keep me occupied so I don't go stir-crazy!

Follow