a personal gift guide (or, what I want for christmas)

I'm in the midst of that Christmas hell, where you're not sure what presents you've got for people, and you know you need to get stuff still for people and you're not really sure what to buy them... and when you're coming down with a hideous cold like I currently am, I really can't be bothered with thinking of presents for other people. Selfish, but true. I've been sort of partaking in that 'one presents for someone else, one present for me', hence a couple of new things have worked their way into my life (see above, new vintage handbag, new candles, and new black patent loafers). But anyway, here is what I want for christmas...

• Tom Ford Black Orchid perfume, I sprayed it on recently, and it's all I can think about.
• A new job, retail is hell at Christmas, particularly when you're sick & feeling under the weather.
• A new Macbook, this one is slowly dying the more I use it.
• To lose the last 15lbs before December 31st, it ain't gonna happen, but if I can shift another five, maybe, I'd be pleased. 
• A maid, I'm fed up of cleaning my room to only make it a mess again when I'm dressing in the dark at 6AM.
• The winter solstice, I need the days to start getting longer again like I need air.
• To have all my blog posts ready for the next month, hopefully I can get ahead this weekend.
• To be fluent in Italian.
• A year's supply of Diptyque candles.
• To eat my weight in Christmas biscuits, sausage rolls and cheese.
• And approximately 2kg of mince pies. 

So if any of you lovely readers can make any of the above a reality for me, that would be amazing, thank-you!